


Silent Lucidity

by ryandoesntdrive



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brainwashing, Cambion, M/M, Sam Ships It, bigger villain, canon-divergent after season 13, kinda short chapters in the beginning i think i don't remember, no smut but some is implied, not slow burn at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 12,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28926948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryandoesntdrive/pseuds/ryandoesntdrive
Summary: An angel and a hunter. Who would've thought they would ever get together? Turns out, all it takes is your adopted son reading fanfiction.But it's not all rainbows and vampires for these two. When a stranger shows up at the bunker asking for help, Dean and Cas have to fight with all they've got, mentally and physically, to get each other back.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jack & the Winchesters
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. Light At The End Of The Empty

Castiel walked around, but all he saw was darkness. He shouted, but no one seemed to hear him. As far as Cas could tell, he was alone. "Hello? Hello!"

Suddenly, Castiel felt some... other presence around him. "I know you're there," he said. "I can feel you."

"Hello," said a voice behind him.

Castiel turned around to reveal... himself? "What are you?"

"Oh, I'm just your friendly neighbourhood cosmic entity," Not-Cas said. 

"Why do you look like me?"

"Oh, yes. Yes, yes. Well, I show up in my real form, and you freak out, rip out your own eyes, et cetera. That would be embarrassing, wouldn't it? For both of us."

"What is this place?"

The entity smiled creepily. "Oh, yes. Excellent question. You see, before God and Amara, creation, destruction, Heaven, Hell, your precious little Earth, what was there?"

"Nothing," Castiel said. 

"Yes. That's right. Nothing. Nothing but Empty. And you are soaking in it. Angels and demons, you all come here when you die."

"Every angel that ever died is here?"

"Yes, sleeping an endless peaceful sleep. You know I... I was sleeping, too." He started to sound angry. "Hey, uh, since we're pals, there's something I've gotta know. I've just gotta ask. Hmm. Why are you awake? 'Cause fun fact—in all of forever, nothing ever wakes up here. I mean, ever. Ever. And second fun fact—when you woke up, I woke up, and I don't like being awake. So...what's up, smart guy?" 

"I don't know."

"Well, think!"

Castiel racked his brain. "The Winchesters. Sam and Dean, they must've made a deal."

"No. No, no, no. Not with me, and I'm—I'm the only one that has any pull here. Not Heaven, not Hell, not G-O-D himself. So think harder." The entity poked Castiel's forehead. "Rack that perky little brain of yours."

Castiel tried to back up. "Stay away from me."

"Okay, fine. I'll rack it for you." The entity placed its hand on Castiel's head. Cas screamed in pain, he felt like his entire head was on fire. 

Castiel found himself on the floor, panting. "What did... what did you do to me?" The pain in his head started to fade, but he still felt weak.

"I-I read your mind, such as it is."

"What do you want?"

"What do I want? I want you to shut up. I want—hmm. Having you awake, it's like a gnat flew right up here and it's trapped and it's buzzing," it growled.

Cas stood up. "Having me awake causes you pain."

"If you can't sleep, I can't sleep. Yeah? And I like sleep. I need sleep."

"Then get rid of me."

"Oh, I should, shouldn't I?"

"Send me back to Earth."

"Or I throw you so deep into the Empty that you can't bother me anymore, hmm?"

Cas started to realize that he had the upper hand. "Except you know that won't work, or you would've done it already."

"Pretty smart. Pretty smart, dummy."

"Send. Me. Back."

"That's not part of the deal. No, no. Besides, you don't want to go back." 

"Yes, I do. Sam and Dean need me."

"Oh, save it. I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate." The entity lowered its voice. "I know who you love... what you fear. There is nothing for you back there. No. Here. Let me show you." The entity touched Cas's head again, and the same pain began.

Memories flashed before Castiel's eyes. Metatron stealing his grace, Lucifer killing him, walking into the lake after the Leviathans took over his body, returning the souls from purgatory, lying on the floor, half-dead, after returning the souls. 

Castiel woke up on the floor once again. "Come on, Castiel! Wouldn't you rather be a fond memory than a constant, festering disappointment?" The entity kicked Cas, who curled up, trying to protect himself. 

"Let's just lay down. Let's just try and sleep. Hmm? Think about it. Infinite peace, yes? No regrets. No pain. Kiddo, save yourself."

"I'm already saved." The entity kicked him again.

Castiel slowly stood up again, determined this time to get back to Sam and Dean. "You can prance, and you can preen, and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I'm awake. And I will stay awake, and I will keep you awake until we both go insane." The entity punched him, but it didn't stop Cas. "I will fight you. Fight you and fight you for...ever. For eternity." 

The entity backed away. "No. No."

"Release me." Cas stepped closer to the entity until they were an inch apart. "Release. Me."

***

Castiel woke up in a field. He looked up, squinting in the bright sunlight. He stood up and smiled. He could get back to his family.


	2. Jack Reads Fanfic

Dean went to the kitchen to get a beer and found Jack drinking a glass of water at the sink. 

"Hey," Jack said without turning around.

"Hey. You did good today, Jack." Dean left, and Jack smiled to himself.

***

Dean walked back to the study and handed Sam a beer. "Listen, man, back at, uh, Mia's, I was out of line. I'm sorry for being a... a dick lately."

"Thanks."

"And maybe you're right, about the kid. I mean, he tries. I'll give him that. And he tapped his powers, saved our ass, so that's a win." Except for the fact that everything he did reminded him of Cas.

"Yeah. I guess."

***

Dean drove Baby down a dark highway. Someone's cell phone rang, waking up Sam. Dean answered it. It was a familiar voice.

***

Dean gunned the engine down a narrow street. He stopped and shut off the car. He and Sam could see a figure that they couldn't quite make out, so they got out and walked closer. Then, he turned around. It was Cas.

Everything stopped for a second. Then Dean broke the silence. "Cas, is that really you?" Castiel could hear the emotion in his voice, Dean was scared that this wasn't real.

Sam raised his arm and pointed at Castiel. "No. You're - you're dead."

"Yeah, I was. But then I... annoyed an ancient cosmic being so much that he sent me back." Cas looked kind of proud of himself. Dean thought it was adorable. 

"I don't even know what to say," Sam said.

"I do. Welcome home, pal." Dean walked forward and hugged Cas, for the first time in a long time. He hugged Cas like he was afraid he would disappear, but Dean couldn't help it. Cas just felt so... real. Of course, Dean had had countless dreams that Cas had come back, but none of them were like this. None of them gave him this much hope.

"Dean, you've been hugging me for over twenty seconds," Cas said. "Is something wrong?" 

"No, man, I'm just... real happy to see you, that's all."

Cas held Dean's gaze for a heartbeat too long before saying, "I'm glad to be back."

"Oh, my God," Sam said suddenly, breaking their spell. "Jack. He's gonna be thrilled, Cas."

Dean sniffed. "Yeah, let's get back to the kid."

***

Back at the bunker, Jack was sitting in the study, reading something on his laptop. "Hey, kid," Dean said, setting his duffel bag on the table. 

"Hey, Dean," Jack said, not even looking up from his screen.

"Whatcha reading there, Jack?"

"Oh, I discovered this thing called 'Wattpad' while you guys were out. Dean, what does 'Destiel' mean?"

"Yeah, no, not touching that with a ten-foot pole," Dean said, closing Jack's computer. "Anyway, we have someone we want you to meet."

"Hello, Jack." Castiel entered the room, a small smile on his face.

Jack stood up, a mix of confusion and wonder on his face. "Castiel? But... you're dead. We burned you, and... what's burned stays dead. How are you..."

"Jack, we thought you might have something to do with how I got back. Did you bring me back?"

"I... I wanted you to come back. I begged for you to come back, but... I didn't know how. I don't think it was me."

"Well, if it was you, thank you." Cas held his arms open for Jack, who stood up and almost knocked his adoptive-angel-dad over.

Jack buried his head in Cas's shoulder. "I missed you, Castiel."

"I know, Jack." Dean looked away from their father-son-like display. He felt... something while watching them. It was almost like he was... incomplete. But Dean quickly shook off the feeling. Right now, they had Cas back, and that was all that mattered.

***

"So Jack, what have you been doing while we were out?" Sam asked while they were halfway through Children of the Corn. 

"Sammy!" Dean whisper-yelled, trying to stop Jack from talking about Destiel.

Jack winked at Dean, apparently having figured out what Destiel meant. "I was looking for cases mostly, but I didn't find anything." 

Dean sighed in relief. But his breathing was interrupted again by Jack after they finished the movie. 

***

"Hey kid, I'm making dinner, you hungry?"

"No, I actually wanted to ask you something," Jack said, walking closer to Dean with that same Bambi look he always had. "Is what I was reading... Is it true? Is that why you closed the computer?"

"No, of course not, Jack. That's just a bunch of... hormonal teenage girls who read the books Chuck wrote."

"But... you and Cas stare at each other all the time. It seems pretty realistic."

"Yeah, well, it's not. Just drop it, Jack. Please."

Jack decided Dean wouldn't talk about it any more, so he left. Little did Dean know, he went to ask Castiel the same question.

***

"Dean?" Cas leaned into Dean's doorframe with a strange look on his face. "We need to talk."


	3. What?? I'm Not Gay

"Hey, Castiel, I have a question for you."

"Yeah, sure, Jack. Sit down." Cas pulled out a chair for Jack in the bunker's study. "What's your question?"

"Well, I wanted to ask about you and Dean. While Sam and Dean were gone, I discovered this website called Wattpad, and there was a lot of people writing about you and Dean. Like, you were... together."

"Oh, I think I know where this is going. Jack, Dean and I have been through a lot together, so we're very close, and many people who have read Chuck's books have misconstrued that as romantic attraction. But even if that was true on my part, Dean is attracted to women."

"That doesn't sound the same as what Dean said," Jack told Cas, sounding confused. "Dean got very... defensive, it seemed."

Castiel didn't know what to do with this information, so he decided to forget about it.

***

Cas couldn't forget about it. He decided to go to Dean's room and ask him about it.

"Dean?" Cas asked, leaning into the room for permission to enter. "We need to talk."

"Uh, OK, come on in." Dean shut off the TV and put down the beer he was drinking. "What do we need to talk about?"

"Well, Jack was talking to me earlier about how you got... defensive when he asked about you and me being... together."

Dean stiffened. "Oh, right. That. Look, Cas, I just don't want Jack to think I'm... you know, gay."

"Dean, he doesn't think you're gay. He thinks you love me." Cas could hear his own heartbeat through his shirt, and he was sure Dean could, too. He'd been waiting so long to tell Dean this, but he was so nervous, he couldn't get the words out. 

"What?" Dean tried to look like that concept was insane, but Cas could see through it. "Kid's crazy."

"Dean." Cas looked Dean in his perfect, soft green eyes. "When I was in the Empty, the entity went through my brain. He told me he knew who I loved, and what I feared. Dean, the only thing I fear is losing you."

Both men were silent for what felt like years. Dean just sat there, trying to figure out what to say. Finally, he found the right words.

"Cas, I've been wanting to tell you something for so long, since I had the Mark, pretty much. It's just been so goddamn long, I don't even know if I can tell you this. Look, when you died, I kept having this dream. I was reliving when I went into a confessional while we were working a case. And this was back when I was convinced the Mark was gonna kill me. And I realized that I wanted to... I needed to let you know this, and then you died, and I didn't know what to do, and-"

"Shh." Cas laid his hand on top of Dean's. "I'm back now. You can tell me."

"Cas, I... You know, I've always been with women. My entire life. But it was always empty, just sex, you know? I never felt anything more. I mean, I know I got out of hunting and lived with Lisa for a while, but it was never about her. It was about the life. And then, I don't know. I just... I started to feel... something else. For you. And it was so damn terrifying, and I tried to push it down, but it was killing me. But you're an angel. You don't..." Dean looked down. "You can't... you can't fall in love."

Castiel was silent for a few seconds. Then, he decided no words could describe what Cas wanted to say to Dean.

He leaned forward and connected his lips to Dean's. It was only for a second, and Dean was too surprised to kiss back, but Castiel thought that conveyed all he wanted to say pretty well.

It took Dean a while to comprehend what happened, but once he did, he leaned in and reciprocated the kiss. This time, both of them were participating. 

It was the best feeling Cas had experienced in his millennia of existence. Total serene, unclouded happiness. The kiss lasted much longer this time, and they were both breathing heavily after it ended.

Dean was smiling from ear to ear. "Wow, Cas. What took us so damn long?"

Cas smiled back. "I have no idea."

***


	4. Plot Twist: It's Just A Really Short Deer

Dean and Cas had decided to keep their relationship a secret from Sam and Jack, at least for a while. They didn't want to deal with telling everybody, and they needed some time to figure out who they were as a couple.

"So, Sammy, I found us a case," Dean said to Sam when he walked into the library.

"Really? Dean, it's been three days since our last case."

"So? People died weird in Peoria, Illinois."

"Alright, I just thought you might want to rest a little."

"Nope." Dean stood up and grabbed his jacket. "Jack, Cas, we found a case. Might be gone for a couple of days. Let's go, Sammy."

"Wait, Dean, I need your help with something," Cas called from the kitchen. 

"Okay, Sam, go load up the car. I'll be out in a minute." Dean walked carefully nonchalantly to the kitchen.

"What, you thought I'd leave without a goodbye kiss?" Dean smiled at Cas and planted a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips. "That's crazy talk right there." After a few minutes, Dean thought Sam might be getting suspicious, so he said goodbye to Cas and left for Illinois.

***

"So, what's this case you found us?" Sam asked once they were on the road to Peoria. 

"Well, three people got gored in a forest. Cops are saying it's a wild deer, but get this: they all had wounds in their calves."

"Yeah, that sounds weird, but are you sure it's our kind of thing?"

"Hey, we've looked into less." Dean put in some rock album and before they knew it, they were in Illinois.

***

"What the hell?" Sam and Dean had arrived at the city's morgue and were now investigating the three victims. "What kind of animal does this?"

"I don't know, Dean. It looks like a deer attack."

"Yeah, it looks like a deer, but they were all stabbed in the lower legs."

"Dean, I'm telling you, nothing supernatural is going on here."

"Well, why don't we check out the forest where they were found and you'll see that I'm right."

Sam rolled his eyes but followed his brother out of the morgue. 

***

"What the hell was that thing?" Dean asked once he and Sam were back in the Impala. They'd been chased by something small and fluffy, yet it sounded like a deer.

"It looked like a... a rabbit. With horns?"

"Not horns," Castiel said, appearing in the backseat. "Antlers."

"Jesus, Cas!" Dean jumped so high his head hit the roof of the car. 

"I'm sorry Dean, didn't mean to scare you," Cas said, resting a hand on Dean's shoulder before he realized what he had done. He took his hand away and sat up straighter.

Sam noticed what just happened, but he didn't address it. "So, you know what it is, then?"

Cas relaxed, thinking that Sam didn't see his display. "Yes. It's a rasselbock, or jackalope as you probably know it. They're half-rabbit, half-deer, and they can mimic human voices."

"But, those aren't real. They're just dead rabbits and deer put together to make an urban legend," Sam said.

"That's what I thought as well. However, that was our proof. Now, I haven't found a way to kill them, but they can be trapped if we lure them with whisky."

"Just like Dean," Sam joked. 

***

"Yeah, not so scary now, are you, Bugs," Dean taunted the jackalope once it was safely in a cage. "Now, then. Back to the bunker?"

"Yeah, maybe we can find a way to kill it there," Sam agreed. 

Suddenly, something strange happened. The jackalope started talking.

"Dean," it said in a perfect imitation of Castiel's voice. Cas exchanged a glance with Dean, who seemed just as confused and freaked out as the angel.

"Dean, you can't kill me. I love you." By this point, Dean's eyes had literally expanded to about twenty times their normal size, as had Cas's. Sam was just very confused.

"What the hell?" Sam demanded.

"Okay, that's enough of that," Dean said, and he placed the cage and the jackalope in the trunk of the Impala and refused to talk about it.

***

"Dean, we'd have to tell him eventually anyway." Castiel was in Dean's room, trying to convince him to talk to Sam. "Do you want me to tell him?"

"No, no, it should come from me." Dean started to stand up. "I guess there's no putting this off."

***


	5. Of Course, Dean Loves The Princess Bride

Sam was in his room, watching some nature documentary or something. Dean couldn't really focus on anything. "Hey, Dean." Sam shut his TV off and turned to face his brother. "What's up?"

"Hey, Sammy. We kinda need to talk."

"Uh, sure." Sam patted the edge of the bed. "Sit down."

Once Dean had gotten perfectly uncomfortable, he started trying to get out the right words. Sam, being the good brother he is, didn't try to force Dean into saying anything.

Dean decided to just get it over with as soon as possible. No chick-flick moments. "So, for a while now, pretty much since Cas came back, we've been... Well, we've been dating."

Sam looked shocked, but not angry or disapproving. In fact, when he got over his initial shock, he started smiling. "I thought it'd be the end of the world before you two finally got together. Oh man, I owe Mom fifty bucks."

"Seriously, man? You were betting on us?" But Dean couldn't keep up his fake-anger. Soon enough, he grinned. "Anyway, thanks for being cool about it. I didn't know what you were going to say."

"Are you kidding? You know I'll always accept you. You're my brother."

"Thanks, Sammy." Dean leaned over and hugged Sam. "Oh, by the way, Jack doesn't know yet, so don't tell him. You're the only one who knows."

"You got it."

***

"Why haven't we been doing this for years?" Dean asked Cas as they were falling asleep. Well, Dean was falling asleep. Cas was laying with Dean until he woke up the next morning.

"Probably because the world has almost ended several times."

"Or because I was too chickenshit to admit I liked you." Dean reached out and caressed Cas's face, looking deep into his boyfriend's eyes. "...Goodnight, Cas."

"Goodnight." They stayed like that the entire night until Dean woke up at nine to make everybody breakfast.

***

Mary was back from a case, so Dean had to make extra pancakes. He whistled "Cherry Pie" while he cooked, much to his mother's amusement.

"You're in a good mood today, aren't you?" Mary observed.

"What can I say? We got Cas back, you're back home, and Jack's doing pretty well with his powers. It's been a good few months."

"You know, now that you mention Castiel..."

"Oh, God," Dean groaned. "I think I know where this is going."

"Dean, you can't pretend nothing is going on between you two. I see it, I'm sure Sam and Jack see it, too."

"Look, Mom... You're right. Cas and I are dating. Since he came back."

"Wait, really? Wow." Mary paused. "Well, I'm really happy for you, Dean. I see the way you two look at each other. Does anyone else know?"

"Yeah, Sam does, but Jack doesn't."

"Okay, I'll try not to tell him."

"Thanks, Mom. For being so cool." Dean hugged Mary and left to tell Cas that Mary knew.

***

"Sam, you owe me fifty bucks," Mary said while she, Sam, and Jack were making dinner. 

"Oh, yeah, I thought you'd forget about that."

"Are you kidding? I never forget a bet."

"What did you guys bet on?" Jack asked innocently. 

Mary exchanged a panicked glance with Sam before she thought up a convincing lie. "Well, we bet on how many times Dean's seen The Princess Bride. I said twenty, Sam only said fifteen."

"Oh." Jack smiled. "That's a good movie."

"Yes, it is," Sam agreed, and they continued making dinner.

***

Jack hadn't brought up Dean and Cas being together since the day after Cas came back, which Dean was grateful for. However, it also made Dean anxious. Part of him just wanted Jack to find out about him and Cas on accident, or confront Dean about it so he didn't have to think about it so much. Because every time he tried to tell Jack, something held him back.

What if he wasn't okay with it? What if he was disgusted by it? What if the Lucifer part of him was so incredibly hateful that he became violent?

"Dean, stop thinking about it," Cas told his boyfriend in a soothing tone. Cas could tell when Dean was in this mood, as he was very often nowadays. "Jack will be completely fine. I mean, we've been raising him his whole life. He's a good person."

"I know that, Cas. It doesn't help."

***

"Jack!" Dean yelled through the bunker. "It's Movie Night!"

Jack came running down the hallway to Dean's "man cave," to which he had added a couch so they could have movie nights. "What are we watching tonight?"

"Tonight, we are watching Terminator." Dean held up the movie and grinned. "Can you go help Cas with the popcorn and pizza and stuff?"

"Sure, Dean." Jack left, and Dean sighed in relief. Tonight was the night he and Cas planned to tell Jack, and Dean had no idea how he was going to manage that. 

***

The movie was over, and Dean still hadn't told Jack. Oh, God, it was so much easier when the other person brought it up, but Jack was just so... clueless. Either that, or he was scared Dean would get angry again. 

"Hey, Jack?" Dean signalled to Cas and Sam to leave before he stopped Jack. "I need to talk to you."


	6. Dean's Becoming A Bit Of An Ass

"Oh, okay Dean." Jack sat back down on the couch and looked up expectantly. 

"Well, Jack... you remember what you were telling me, about "deastiel" or whatever?"

"Yeah, I remember. Why?"

"Well..." Dean paused, trying not to sprint out of the room. He decided to just get it over with, rip it off like a bandage. "It's real-life now. Cas and I."

Jack paused for a moment, but it felt like hours to Dean. Then, finally, he smiled. "I knew it. You stare at each other too much."

That was not the reaction Dean was expecting. "You're... you're totally okay with this?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be? You and Castiel are like my fathers, and I want you to be happy."

"Thanks, kid. Now, go get your sleep. We're going on a case tomorrow."

***

"So, I'm thinkin' witch," Dean said while he read the case out to Cas, Sam, and Jack.

"Yeah, 'melted brain' sounds pretty witchy to me, too." Sam walked over and sat down next to Dean (and by extension, Cas, who was standing right behind Dean). 

"So, where is this case?" Jack asked, still as bright-eyed as ever. 

"It's in Buffalo, New York, so, long drive."

"Yeah, I would call eighteen hours a long drive," Cas said, laughing at his boyfriend. 

***

Once Sam and Jack were both asleep in the backseat, Cas started to talk. "So, you told Jack yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

Dean reached over and laced his fingers with Cas's, definitely not keeping his eyes on the road. "He said he knew it, and he was fine with it. He said he just wants us to be happy." 

"That's good." Cas leaned over and planted a kiss on Dean's lips. "Do you want me to drive for a little while? You need your sleep."

"Yeah, sure." Dean pulled over and they switched seats. Castiel wasn't so good at keeping his eyes on the road either, not with Dean sleeping so beautifully in the seat beside him. 

***

"Oh, my God!" Sam could barely contain his laughter, Jack was very confused, and Cas was concerned. 

"Yes, I know. She gave me donkey ears. Laugh it up, Sammy."

The witch had caused part of the ceiling to cave in while they were mid-fight, separating Dean from the rest of the group. Fortunately, this allowed Dean to fight better since he wasn't as worried about Cas getting hit. Unfortunately, this made Dean the sole target of the witch's transfiguring spell to turn Dean into a donkey. 

"Should we call Rowena?" Jack suggested, bringing Sam out of his laugh attack. 

"Yeah, Jack, good idea." Sam still had that laugh-y voice, but he was calming down. He pulled out his phone and dialled the red-haired witch. "Hey, Rowena. Dean got in a fight with a witch. No, no, he's alive, he's just... having a problem. Yeah, we're in Buffalo. Okay, see you then."

"So? When do I stop being a freaking donkey?"

"She's gonna be here in a few hours. Now, let's go back to the motel."

***

Rowena was laughing as hard as Sam once she saw Dean. "Wow, Dean, now you really are an ass!" Jack and Sam laughed at that. Cas was just concerned, and Dean was annoyed. "Tell me, where'd Shrek go?"

"Up your ass is where." 

"Oh, I wouldn't talk to me like that if you didn't want to spend the rest of your life with donkey ears. Especially not if I know exactly how to make them go away."

"Wait, you do? Okay, I'm sorry, please take these things off my head."

"That's better. Now, I must warn you, this herb has a particular... side effect."

"Yes, whatever, just get these things off me."

"Okay, whatever you say. Just don't come cryin' to me." Rowena dug in her bag and pulled out something that looked like garlic. "This," she held it up, "is galangal root. It must be burned, mixed with dragon's tears, crushed, and inhaled."

"And that's it? That'll make me normal again?"

"Yes, but there's still the side effect of-"

"Rowena, I don't give a rat's ass about the side effects. Just do the spell. Please."

"Alright, fine." Rowena took out her ingredients and began the spell. In about half an hour, Dean no longer had the ears of a donkey, yet he felt... strange. 

All he wanted to do was just to grab Cas right then and there and make out with him, and definitely more. Of course, this wasn't strange by itself, but it came out of nowhere.

"Rowena, what's going on?"

"Oh, I thought you 'didn't give a rat's ass about the side effects'," Rowena mocked, doing a pretty hilarious impression of Dean. "If you let me finish, you would know that galangal root is somewhat of a magical 'aphrodisiac', as you might call it. One of its uses is for promoting lust."

"Then what do I do now?"

"Well, there's not anything you can do, besides wait for it to wear off, which will take about a day."

"Okay, Jack, we're going to go out and see New York," Sam said, ushering Jack outside and into the Impala. He figured there may be some PG-13 things going on while Dean was 'lustful'.

"Wait for me, boys," Rowena cried, running out to the car with Sam and Jack.

As soon as they drove away into the city, Dean crashed his lips onto Cas's. He moved them both onto the bed and continued to taste Cas until he could barely form coherent thoughts.

***

"We need to do that more often." Dean rolled over to smile at his boyfriend and found himself lost in those ocean blue eyes. "Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"I love you, Cas."

Cas pulled Dean closer and whispered, "I love you, too."


	7. My Bloody Valentine Part 2: Bloody Boogaloo

"Guys, I think I found a case," Jack said suddenly. Sam was absorbed in some book about boring stuff, and Dean was absorbed in Cas' eyes, so neither of them heard Jack. 

Cas poked Dean's ribs. "Dean, Jack said he found a case."

"Yeah, what did you find, Jack?" Dean tried to pretend like he heard him the first time. 

"In D.C., a man found his fiancee in her apartment. The police report says that her heart gave out."

Sam looked up from his book. "That does sound weird, but are we sure it's our kind of weird?"

"I mean, she was 32, so it's not likely she should have any heart trouble. "

"Sammy, we've looked into less. Come on, it's Valentine's week. Let's go celebrate in D.C."

"Fine, but only if you and Cas aren't doing gross couple stuff the whole time."

"I swear on my own grave, Sammy, Cas and I will not do gross couple stuff the whole time." Dean shot Sam a cheesy grin. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Alright!" Jack jumped up. "Let's go!"

***

"Now, Mr Robinson, can you think of anyone who would want to hurt Sarah? Any enemies?" Sam decided to take over questioning with Castiel so Dean could supervise Jack.

"No, everyone loved her. I'm sorry, but I thought Sarah had a heart attack."

"We just need to consider every possibility."

"Alright." The man paused for a second, rubbing his chin. "You know, now that I think about it, she'd been pretty upset recently. I don't know if that helps."

"Do you have any idea why she was upset?"

"No. She would barely even talk to me. Even when she did, she didn't seem like... she was all there. Like she was thinking about something else." 

"Alright. Well, thank you, sir. And I'm very sorry for your loss."

Sam and Cas walked over to the other two to swap info. "Did you guys find anything?" Dean asked once he slipped his arm around Castiel. 

"Other than the fact that Sarah Robinson was a depressed saint, no. You?"

"Well, we found out she was seeing a therapist every Thursday and Saturday. Wanna go talk to him?"

"Let's go."

***

Cas decided to bring Jack along to this one since Dean and Sam had been up for hours and needed rest. 

"Agents, you know I have to keep up doctor-patient confidentiality," Dr Warner said. He was a professional man - glasses, short black hair, suit, grey tie. 

"Doctor, we understand, but we're in the middle of a murder investigation." Surprisingly, Jack was the one who said this. "If this woman was a victim of foul play, we must find the person responsible before they hurt anyone else."

Dr Warner still seemed hesitant to give out his patient's information, but something in Jack's eyes convinced him to. "Alright, fine. Recently, Sarah had been coming to me more frequently because she thought her fiance was having an affair."

Cas leaned forward. "Did she have any idea who the affair was with? Her name, what she looked like, anything like that?"

"Well, she seemed to think that he was their next-door neighbour."

"Oh." Cas leaned back. "She thought her fiance was engaging in a gay affair?"

"Not just that. She caught him on the phone with another man."

***

"Dean," Cas whispered in his boyfriend's ear.

"What the hell, Cas?" Dean looked over at the clock. "It's two a.m."

"Yes, which is when I knew neither Jack nor your brother would be awake." Castiel started to kiss Dean, slowly moving his mouth.

"I like where this is headed." Dean smiled against Cas' lips. Then he pulled away. "But, the kid. And Sammy."

"I had an idea. Come on."

***

"Wow. It's beautiful, Cas." Dean and Castiel sat on the roof of the Impala, looking out at the stars. Cas had the idea of driving out to a more rural area, just outside D.C. And it was incredible.

Thousands of tiny balls of pure light, so close it was like you could just reach out and grab one. Dean was completely awestruck. 

"Cas, I've never seen anything like this. It's so..." Dean laughed, "awesome."

"I know. They're almost as beautiful as you." Cas smiled at Dean. 

Dean was silent for a moment. "Cas, earlier I was thinking about Lisa. How I got out of the life for a while. And I was pretending I was happy, and we were in love. But I wasn't happy. I mean, Sam was in the Cage, you were the new sheriff up in Heaven, and I was some normal guy with a dark past. Cas, I was miserable without you."

"Dean, I'm here now. And I intend to stay here, no matter what." Castiel leaned in and hugged Dean. They stayed like that for a while, until they decided to go back to the motel. 

***

"What the hell were you guys doing out?" Sam was lacing up his tennis shoes, probably about to go running. Of course, Lance Armstrong would be out running at 5 AM for no reason.

"We weren't out doing gross couple stuff, I can tell you that." Dean smiled.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Sure you weren't. Anyway, I need you guys to watch Jack while I'm gone."

"Alright, Sammy. Go break a leg, or whatever they say."

***

"Mornin' sunshine." Dean turned on the light stick and Jack groaned.

"Ten more minutes," Jack muttered sleepily, trying to curl back up.

"Kid, you've been saying that for an hour. A little help, Cas?"

"Jack, it's nine o'clock. Time to wake up. We're on a case, remember?" Cas tried to gently shake Jack's shoulder, but eventually, he just picked the whole boy up and lifted him to a standing position. 

"Alright, so now that we're all here and conscious, I have news on the case." Sam stood up and pulled out his phone. "While I was out, the coroner called me to say that they found another body. The next-door neighbour."

"Hang on," Dean said. "The one that the dude was doing?"

"Yep, the very same. Apparently, he died the exact same way as Sarah Robinson."

***

Jack flew himself and Cas to James Robinson's house, which left Sam and Dean to go to the coroner's office.

"I'm telling you, Dean, I don't see a connection."

"Well, maybe this James guy is bad news."

"Yeah, he could be, but why would he kill the man he was having an affair with? I mean, he could be not human, but that doesn't give him a for-sure motive."

"Well, let's go see what's what." Dean parked Baby and they went to see the coroner.

***

"Alright, guys. Here's what I'm thinking so far. Jealous woman finds her fiance cheating. She poisons the mistress, then poisons herself. She just gave herself a higher dose." The coroner, a short, balding, middle-aged man was pacing around the morgue.

"There are poisons that cause heart attacks?" Sam, for once, didn't know everything about possible murders.

"Yeah, my theory is oleander. We saw some bushes outside her fiance's office building."

"Alright, well thank you, Doctor. We'll go do some more digging, and we'll get back to you."

***

"The theory seems possible, but the timeline is completely out of wack. Do you think this Sarah girl could be some kind of vengeful spirit?" Sam and Dean were back at the motel room with the other two boys. 

"She could be, but angry spirits are born of violent deaths. Heart attacks don't exactly scream 'violent, horrific murder' to me." 

"What if it wasn't just a heart attack?" Jack suggested. "Mr Robinson said that she seemed depressed the days before she died. What if she killed herself?"

Sam stood up. "That would make sense. She catches her fiance cheating on her, and she's so depressed she kills herself. Then, she comes back and kills her fiance's lover. Good job, Jack."

Jack smiled. "I'm just doing what you guys taught me."

***


	8. Hello Again, Paranoia

"Rest in peace, Sarah." Jack dropped the match into the woman's grave. 

Castiel clapped his "son" on the back. "You did well on this case, Jack."

Dean smiled. "And tomorrow, we celebrate."

***

Sam, Cas, and Jack all woke up to the sound of Careless Whisper. "Rise and shine, boys! It's Valentine's Day! Cas, you and I are gonna be the cheesiest, grossest couple this city's ever seen."

"Oh, God," Sam groaned. "I thought you swore on your grave." 

"Hey, I said we wouldn't the whole time. Besides, I've had many graves."

Sam rolled his eyes, but he was glad to see Dean this happy. Ever since he started dating Cas, it was like he appreciated everything more. He decided that he should let Dean have fun with his boyfriend. After all, it was the day to celebrate love. "Alright Dean, where do you want to go today?"

"How about we walk around, get breakfast?" Jack suggested.

Dean finger-gun snapped at Jack. "Yes! Perfect." Dean grabbed Castiel's arm and the four boys headed out the door.

***

Cas breathed in the crisp air and sighed. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" He gestured to the city around them - well, Dean did too. The two had been holding hands since the second they got outside the motel room. It was really very sweet.

"Not as beautiful as you." Dean smiled at Cas and kissed him, which turned into slightly making out.

Sam covered Jack's eyes, who laughed. "Sam, I've heard them having sex before. I don't think this is what's going to scar me for life."

Dean pulled away abruptly from Cas. "Hang on. You've heard us?"

"Yeah, you're very loud."

"Oh, God." Dean groaned. "I'm just gonna forget you said that. Let's just keep walking."

***

"Hello, sir. If you and your partner would like to come inside, we have a couple's special today." A man in front of a bakery tried to lure Dean and Cas inside.

"What kind of special?" Cas asked.

"Two free slices of pie with any drink purchase."

"P-pie?" Dean asked weakly, and Cas chuckled.

"Jack, Sam, come on. Let's get Dean his pie."

***

After about four hours, Dean's Valentine's Day high started to wear off, and even he started to get tired. "It's probably time to head back. I'm sure there are some cheesy romance movies on tonight."

They ended up settling on Dirty Dancing "because Jack has never seen it and that's blasphemy".

***

Dean snuggled up closer to Cas on the motel bed. Sam and Jack had both passed out a while ago, but Dean was deliberately still watching the movie. Of course, staying awake also meant he could kiss Cas more. 

"I love you, Cas." Dean gripped Castiel's arm, his words muffled by that goddamn trench coat that Dean secretly loved.

"Dean, what's wrong? You're acting very strange." 

"Nothing's wrong, Cas. It's just... I love you so damn much. And I feel things for you that I've never even known were possible. I'm just... I'm scared it's not real."

"Dean. Look at me." Cas looked Dean in the eyes, and Dean saw something... fiery in those blue oceans. "I'm real. This is real. And it doesn't matter what we have to save the world from next. This will always be real."

Suddenly, they heard Jack stir, and they both went back to cuddling. "Hey, guys? What's going on?" Jack muttered sleepily.

"Oh, nothing, kid. We were just talking about the movie."

"Oh. Okay." Jack went back to sleep.

Dean quickly wiped away a single tear. He laid back down on Cas and before he knew it, he was asleep. 

***

Once the four boys were back at the bunker and relaxing, they heard a knock at the door. Dean approached cautiously with his gun raised since no one had called to tell them they were visiting. "Who's there?"

"My name's Kane Fisher. I'm here to see the Winchesters." It sounded like a young British man, probably in his late teens.

"And what do you want with us?" Dean asked, glancing back at his brother, who shrugged.

"I just need to talk."

Sam was now behind Dean, his gun raised as well as he went to turn the door handle.

***


	9. Son Of A Guinea Pig

Standing in front of the brothers was an - in a different way than Castiel - angelically handsome boy of about 18 or 20. He was tall and wiry, with short black floppy hair and dark brown eyes. He was dressed like a normal person - black ripped jeans and a button-up - but he had an... older air to him. He raised his hand. "Hello."

***

"So, you say you're the inspiration of Robert the Devil, but that legend started in the thirteenth century," Dean stated skeptically while pacing around the table. "How the hell are you still alive?"

"Actually, that legend was started by a prophet a few hundred years before this boy was born." Cas laid his hand on Dean's shoulder to get him to stop pacing.

"Look, I was born on May twentieth, 1535. My father was a demon and my mum was a witch. I'm a cambion." 

"Guys." Jack stepped forward. "I believe him." 

Sam stepped towards Jack. "Jack, you can't just-"

Jack shushed Sam. "Why are you here?"

"I need help. You guys are the best hunters in the world, so I figured if anyone could help me, you could."

Cas placed his hand on Jack's shoulder. "Jack, we can't trust him. He might not be who he says he is."

"Cas, it can't hurt to hear him out."

Castiel was still worried, but he decided there was no use arguing, so he stood against the wall with Sam and Dean while Jack and Kane talked.

***

"How did you find us? How did you even know who we are?" Jack sat down at one of the tables and pulled out another chair for Kane.

"Well, I was hiding out in England when a friend of mine said he'd heard of the world's greatest hunters in America. I contacted some of my mum's friends over here and they said they knew where you were. I figured it was worth a shot."

"Wait, why were you hiding out in England? I thought the legend said you were French."

"Well, the legend also says I got a bit... murderous towards the end of my life. But I swear to you, none of that was true. The police thought I killed a bunch of people, so I had to get away. I've been hiding since... well, about the seventeenth century."

Jack tried to wrap his head around that. "Hang on. Demons are just souls, like corrupted ghosts. How do you even exist?"

"I don't know. My mum couldn't have children, so she prayed to God but He didn't do anything. Finally, she ended up summoning a demon, Astaroth. I don't know exactly what happened, but that demon is my father."

"Okay. I believe you. But why did you want to see us?"

"Well, I need to disappear. I figured hunters were probably the best at that, especially with erasing any supernatural tracks."

Dean signalled to Jack that the four of them needed to talk about Kane.

***

"Okay, let's start with why you even trust this guy." Dean was pacing around the kitchen after Jack joined them. He had left Kane in the study and went to tell his "fathers" what they had talked about.

"He seems like he was telling the truth. And it's not like what he's saying is impossible."

Sam placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. "Dean, I say we help him for now, but keep an eye on him. Let's just not kill him until we have a reason to."

"Do we even know how to kill him?" Cas muttered to Dean, who shrugged.

"Angel blade, maybe? It kills demons, why not half-demons?"

"We should call Rowena," Jack suggested. "He said his mother was a witch, so maybe she knows if he's telling the truth.

***

"You boys," Rowena huffed when she walked through the door. "Callin' me every other day when you need help." She set her bag down on the table and hugged Jack, Sam, Dean, and Cas. "Now, where is this half-demon?"

The boys escorted her to the dungeon where they had chained up Kane for "protection". Truthfully, they didn't even know if the chains would hold him, which is why they didn't let Rowena in there alone. 

Rowena did a double-take when she saw the young man in the dungeon. "You... You're Olivette's son, aren't you?"

Kane blinked, surprised. "Yes, I am. Did you know my mother?"

"Well, as much as I could know an utter bitch who kept me banished from the Grand Coven for centuries."

"Ah." Kane slumped in his chair. "So you didn't get along."

Rowena rolled her eyes. "Understatement of the century." 

Sam held up his hands in a time-out gesture. "Hang on. So, it is true, Rowena? He's telling the truth?"

Rowena nodded. "I only met him once when I was still in the Coven, but it's him. I'll be off, then."

"Rowena, wait." Jack stopped her before she could get out the door. "We might still need your help. Please."

"Oh, that's not fair. You know I can't resist your puppy-dog eyes, Jack."

***

"I think he's lying." Cas and Rowena were sent to the store for a food run while Sam, Dean, and Jack stayed to make sure Kane didn't bust out. "I don't think he's telling us why he's really here."

"Honestly, I don't think we can trust him at all," Rowena stated while they were perusing the bread aisle. "What kind of whole wheat bread does Sam want?"

Cas pulled out a bag of bread and put it in the cart. "I don't think we can trust him either, but we can't just kill him. We don't even know how to kill him." Thankfully, there weren't many people in the store, so there wasn't a big risk for anyone overhearing them. 

"I might know a spell we could try." Rowena winked.

***


	10. I Hope Your Apple Pie Was Freaking Worth It

"For the last time, I'm not going to massacre you," Kane said, annoyed. "Can I please have a sandwich?"

"For the last time, no," Dean said, mocking Kane's annoyed tone.

"I don't see why we can't kill him," Cas muttered to Dean.

"Because Dean, we have no proof that he's evil. Plus, we may be able to use him later." Cas tilted his head, trying to figure out his boyfriend's actions. 

"Why don't you go see if Sam and Jack need any help with dinner?"

Cas left the room with a muttered "Alright," which was when Kane decided to talk about things other than food.

"You two are very cute together, you know. That's not the kind of thing you take for granted."

Dean got an ominous feeling from Kane's words, but he shook it off. "What about you? Did you ever date anyone while you were in hiding?"

"Eh, had a few girlfriends, some boyfriends. But none of them really lasted. I never got that... deeper feeling, you know?"

"I know exactly what you mean. Hell, I only ever got to the 'relationship' phase twice before Cas."

Kane laughed quietly.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing. It's just strange how much we have in common, given how different we are. I mean, I'm a half-demon, half-witch, and you're a Hunter and a Man of Letters."

Dean chuckled. "Huh. I guess you're right."

*** 

"Babe, I don't think he's that bad," Dean said as he and Cas were falling asleep. "He just seems... tired."

Cas paused, thinking. "Dean, I know you probably relate to Kane in some way, and that's great, but I get a bad feeling from him. I don't know why, and I can't explain it, but I don't think we can trust him." He paused. "At least not completely."

Dean was silent for a moment. "Whatever. Time to sleep." Dean turned off his bedside lamp and snuggled closer to Castiel.

***

Gradually, the boys began to trust Kane more and more. They started to look at him less like a threat and more like a little brother. They didn't know why, but something about him just seemed so... familiar. 

Of course, they kept an eye on him and didn't let him out of the bunker, but they unchained him and let him walk around. 

***

One day, a few weeks after he'd arrived at the bunker, Kane decided he should make everyone dinner, as a show of good faith. He even made Dean pie. 

"Welcome to my 'I Promise I Won't Kill You' dinner," Kane joked, his arms spread wide. He had prepared a favourite family dinner for the Winchesters (and Cas, who had not yet married into the family): tossed salad and lasagna with a blackberry pie for dessert, which Dean was eyeing. 

"Well, then? Go on, dig in." The five of them sat down and began to eat. Sam, of course, had mostly salad. 

When they were done with the lasagna, each of them took a piece of the pie. They started to dig in, which is when things started to go wrong.

"Does this pie taste funny to you?" was all Dean could get out before his head dropped onto the table, along with Sam and Jack. They were all out cold. Cas felt like he was on some kind of bad trip, but he didn't pass out. 

"Dean!" Castiel shouted, trying to shake his boyfriend awake. Thankfully, Dean still had a pulse, but that didn't mean he would stay that way. "You," he growled at Kane. He tried to stand up, but a wave of weightlessness rolled over him, and not the good kind.

"Don't worry, they won't die." Kane stood up and strode over to Cas, who was still struggling to remain upright. "I only dosed them enough so they would fall asleep. You, however, are a mystery. I guess no one ever wrote how much belladonna to use on an angel."

"You poisoned us?" Cas gave up on standing, instead deciding to cradle Dean's hand while he knelt on the floor. "Why?"

"Even if they hear me, those boys are hallucinating at best right now, so I guess there's no harm in telling you why." Kane sat back down in his chair and pulled out a thick steel triangle-shaped knife, which he began to twirl in his hand. "I believe you've met Chuck?"

At this point, Castiel began to feel a lump in his throat from looking at Dean, so he simply nodded.

"Well, he hired me to bring you to him. And before you ask, I don't know why. He just said that 'the fate of creation hangs in the balance', whatever the hell that means. But anyway, let's get going. Chuck offered me quite a handsome finder's fee." 

All of a sudden, Cas' vision went black. The last thing he saw was the signet ring on Kane's finger, right on the outside of his fist.


	11. Purgatory Prayer Part Deux

Castiel woke up in a dark warehouse, alone, tied to a chair. He had been gagged with his blue tie. He saw a light turn on around the corner, and soon enough, Kane came sauntering into the room.

"Well, good morning, Castiel. Did you sleep well? I can tell by the very nice bruise on your temple that the answer is yes." Kane chuckled. 

Cas didn't remember much from the day before (at least he thought it was the day before), but he did know that Dean would be out there looking for him. Soon enough, he would be saved by his hunter. He was sure of it.

Kane roughly yanked the tie out of Castiel's teeth. "Come on, pretty boy angel. Let's talk."

"I draw the line at conversing with lying, evil kidnappers, Kane." Cas spat out his name like it was the vilest insult he could think of.

Kane chuckled. "You're one to talk. Chuck told me about some of the things you and your 'family' have done. I mean, letting out Lucifer? The leviathan? Giving Dean the Mark of Cain? You four are like the poster boys of bad decisions." Kane laughed again and crouched down in front of Cas. "No wonder Chuck wants to 'reprogram' you." 

Cas didn't know what to do with that last sentence, but he tried (and failed) to hide his confusion.

"Oh, look at you. You're like a lost little primordial puppy." Kane stood back up and busied himself with instruments and jars on a table. It looked like some kind of spell, but Castiel couldn't tell what it was for. "Don't worry, your little hunter won't be harmed. We all know Chuck's finale for the Winchesters. Biblical fratricide, and all that. Anyway, you won't have free will long enough to stop those two. Now, let's get this show on the road, shall we?" Kane snapped his fingers, and the angel, half-demon, and table of spell ingredients were in some kind of opulent house. 

***

"I swear to every single god we haven't ganked yet, I am going to kill that son of a bitch." Dean's eyes blazed with fury in the motel room that Sam forced them to book after they woke up. The room was cowboy-themed, but not even that was enough to calm Dean's rage.

The three of them were all hallucinating a little bit when they woke up, so they didn't notice anything was wrong for a few minutes, at least not until Dean tried to hug Cas and ended up grabbing thin air. It took Sam a good hour to convince Dean that they needed to leave in case Kane decided to come back for the rest of them. He practically had to tear his distraught brother away from Cas' room. 

"Dean, we don't know what happened." Jack tried to console his "father", but Dean wasn't having any of it.

"Jack, it's not rocket science. Kane drugged us and took Cas. I should've listened to Cas. Ever since that kid showed up, he's been telling me he has a bad feeling, but I never listened to him. And now he's gone." Dean's voice wavered for a second, but he regained his composure. 

"Dean, stop blaming yourself. And we'll get Cas back. We always do." Of course, this was all Sam could do right now, just try and give his big brother hope. But the truth was, Sam had no idea how they were going to get Cas back, especially if Kane was working for Chuck. "Come on, let's get a good night's sleep and we'll start looking for him first thing."

Dean muttered an "Okay," but he never really planned on sleeping that night. He spent every hour the other two were asleep praying to Cas, begging and pleading for him to come home. 

***

Cas, please. Send me a sign, something... anything. I need you back, Cas. I love you.

Every prayer broke Cas' heart a little more. Every time he heard Dean's voice in his head, he felt his heart reach out and try to find Dean. But no matter how hard he tried, the distance was too much.

"Oh, what's this? Does the little angel want his boyfriend again?" Kane laughed. "Castiel, how many times do I have to tell you?" He knelt down and forced Cas to look him in the eyes. "Dean can't save you. Best to just forget about him." 

Cas spit in Kane's face. "Ooh, ho ho! You're getting feisty, aren't you? Well, that won't last for long. My procedure's almost ready." Kane wheeled out a machine that looked like the Men of Letters' mind-connecting machine. He stuck a syringe into Cas' neck, and that's the last thing the real Cas would remember for a while.

***

When Cas woke up, he felt... different. He didn't know why at the time, but later he would describe it as how he felt before he rebelled against Heaven. As if his mission was more important than anything. 

But his mission wasn't from Heaven this time. It was from Kane.

***

Castiel held the phone up to his ear. "Dean, I got away. I need you to pick me up."

Silence on the other end. Then, "...Cas? Oh, my God, you have no idea how great it is to hear your voice, man." A pause. "Where are you?"

"Rainbow Falls, Tenessee."

"Alright, Cas. I'll be there in a few hours. Just sit tight, and be careful."

"Of course, Dean. I'll just wait here then." Castiel ended the call and sat down on a rock. Kane clapped dramatically.

"Bravo, Castiel. Excellent performance. You know, you may be a better actor than me. And you know from experience, I'm very convincing." 

Cas chuckled humourlessly. "I don't think anyone can act well enough to convince a Winchester to kill his brother."


	12. Cas Should Get An Award For Best Actor

"Oh, Cas." Dean rushed forward and hugged his angel. Castiel allowed himself to melt into the hug and kiss that soon followed. Of course, Cas was indifferent at best, but he couldn't let Dean notice that. Kane watched the scene from behind the trees.

Dean buried his head in Castiel's shoulder. "I was so scared, Cas." His voice was muffled. "I was scared you were dead. Or worse."

"Well, I'm here now." Castiel pulled away and gave his boyfriend a small smile, which turned sad. "But we need to talk."

Dean sat down on a rock. "Sure, Cas. What's wrong?"

Castiel sat next to him. "Dean... this might be hard for you to hear, but... I think you should do what Chuck wants you to."

Dean's head whipped up. "What the hell? You mean his 'final ending' crap? No way."

"Dean, it's the only way to fix all of this. You know Chuck won't stop until you do. Look, you can't tell me you haven't considered it."

Dean's eyes dropped to the ground. Of course, this new Castiel couldn't understand Dean's complexities anymore, but he guessed Dean was ashamed. Which Cas could definitely work with.

Castiel laid his hand on Dean's, something he thought conveyed affection. He softly made circles with his thumb. After a few minutes, Dean started to open up. "Cas, I just... I don't know what to do anymore. I mean, so many times, me and Sam have been sacrificing ourselves for each other, sacrificing the world for each other. And I'd do it a thousand times, but... I can't do this. Everyone we love, everyone in the whole freaking world, they're gonna suffer because I'm being selfish. But do we even know for sure if Chuck is going to stop? I can't just... kill Sam for nothing."

"Dean, look around you. All of this," Castiel stood up and spread his arms, "this is what's at stake if Sam lives. I don't want this to happen any more than you do, but... it has to. This is what you and Sam were created for. It's your destiny."

"I... Cas, I don't even know if I can."

"You are the strongest man I have ever known, Dean. And I'll be here with you, every step of the way. I know you can do this." Castiel started to walk Dean back down the path. "Come on. We need to do this as soon as possible."

Dean allowed himself to be led, let Cas lead him all the way to the motel where he would find Sam.

After that day, Dean became broken beyond repair.

***

Dean stood in front of the growing flame, watching the heat consume his own flesh and blood, hoping Sam was moving on to a better place. A place where no monsters could bother him. A place where he could be at peace.

"Sammy, I... God, I don't even know what to say. Just... I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am, but... I had to. I had to kill you. I can't be selfish anymore. I mean, the reason you even got back into the life was because I didn't want to be alone. And now... look what's happened to us. I just... I hope you can forgive me." Dean stepped away from the pyre and gasped at the sudden hand on his shoulder.

Castiel held him in mock sympathy, letting him cry out his grief and regret. "I know. I miss him, too."

***

A few weeks had passed since Sam's funeral, but Dean was still so deeply consumed in grieving that he could barely even keep himself alive. Jack was training with Bobby, and Mary was consumed in hunting. Cas - or, who he thought was his Cas - was the only reason he kept going. But Dean was starting to notice little things, little nuances about Cas that he wouldn't have seen if he wasn't only focused on Castiel.

"Are we going to talk about what's been up with you lately?" Dean asked tiredly one day, completely out of the blue.

"What do you mean? Nothing's 'up' with me."

"Right there. How you just said that. It's like you're... not connected to what you're saying. Like you're playing a part." Suddenly Castiel was being held up against the wall, Dean holding an angel blade to his throat. "Who the hell are you and what did you do to Cas?"

Castiel started to fight back, and it looked like he had the upper hand at first, but the fight was a blur. In what felt like a second, Dean twisted Cas' arms behind his back, angel cuffs at the ready.

***

Castiel woke up in the dungeon. Dean stood in front of him, eyes blazing. "Get out of him, you son of a bitch," he growled.

Cas chuckled dryly. He decided he didn't have anything to lose by letting Dean know what had really happened. "Sorry, not possessed again. I'm still me, just a little... adjusted. You can thank Kane for that, by the way."

"You mean that bastard... he brainwashed you?" Dean was so close to shattering. The angel blade threatened to slip out of his hand.

Cas shrugged. "Yeah, I guess you could call it that. Although he mostly used the word 'reprogram'."

"Wait, reprogram? Like the British Men of Letters said when they brainwashed Mom..." Dean left the room and came back with the British Men of Letters' mind-connecting machine. He called Mary and made sure she would wake them up after a few hours. And soon enough, he and Castiel were connected.

***


	13. Turns Out, Cas Deals With His Feelings Just Like Dean

Going through Castiel's mind was like opening your eyes underwater. Dean could only make out rough shapes, but after a while, he found a clear memory. Cas was teaching Jack how to make pasta in the bunker's kitchen.

"Cas!" Dean yelled, but the angel didn't seem to hear him. He tried to think back to when Mary was brainwashed by the British Men of Letters. She had buried herself in her memories and stopped fighting the brainwashing because coming back to her sons was too much for her. But that wasn't Cas' situation. Was it?

Dean tried to think of why Cas would be overwhelmed. He had just come back to life, but he'd done that before. Could it be because he and Cas had finally expressed their feelings and gotten together?

Dean tried to imagine what it would be like to go millennia without falling in love and suddenly falling head-over-heels, and for that love to be requited. Of course, Dean had never fallen in love before he met Cas, but Dean had lived a much shorter time than Cas.

Even so, Dean remembered the overwhelming wave of unfamiliar feelings he came to know. He could only imagine that wave was thousands of times more powerful. Almost suffocating.

"Cas, you've gotta listen to me," Dean tried again, placing his hand on Castiel's shoulder. Cas flinched at the touch, but he regained his composure so quickly that no one else would have noticed it.

"Now, Jack, you need to keep stirring or else it'll stick," Cas advised, still pretending Dean wasn't there.

"Castiel, you son of a bitch. I've fought by your side, I've been right behind you for, what is it, nine years now? And you can't even turn around and LISTEN TO ME?" Dean screamed the last words because it was the only way to keep his voice steady.

Cas stopped, his shoulders tensed under the trench coat. Dean took this as a good sign and kept going.

"Cas, man... Jack and I need you to come back. I need you back. Please, Cas. I can't go on without you."

Castiel's body was racked with dry sobs. He turned and almost knocked Dean over with the force of his embrace. He held onto Dean so tight, he was afraid he would crush him. But he couldn't help it. He was scared Dean wasn't real.

"I'm so sorry." Cas could barely get any words to come out.

"Shh." Dean held on even tighter. "It's okay. It wasn't you."

"No, it's not that. Dean... I'm so sorry... about Sam." Cas pulled back and looked in Dean's eyes. "I can tell when you're not okay."

"Can-can we just focus on getting you back? Please." Dean was close to shattering again.

"Okay. But we'll find a way to bring Sam back. I know we will."

"I know. But right now we just have to wait for Mom to wake us up." Dean and Cas sat on the couch in Cas' memory and held each other until they woke up in the real world dungeon in front of each other.

***

"Cas, is that really you in there?" The worry in Dean's voice was clear, but so was the hope.

"Yeah, it's really me." Cas smiled faintly, and Dean almost ran over to him. He kissed his angel, sweetly and gently. After all of that time, Dean was afraid Cas would slip away from him.

"What the hell happened to you two?" Mary asked, stirring the boys out of their moment.

"Well, it was arguably worse than Hell," Castiel said honestly.

"That's an understatement." Dean chuckled, still holding Cas' arm tenderly. "Actually, Mom, could you give us a moment? I'll fill you in later."

"Sure." Mary nodded and left the room, silently praying her son would be okay. He had been through so much in the past few months.

Dean turned to his angel, serious and tired. "You remember all of it, don't you?"

Cas paused. "Yes. And Dean, we'll find a way to bring him back."

"I know we will." Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas tenderly, yet pulled away after a few short seconds. "But first, we have to find that son of a bitch, Kane."

***

"We could call Rowena, have her do a locating spell," Mary suggested to her son and angel-almost-in-law.

"Yeah, we just gotta prepare for the biggest 'I told you so' she's ever given us." Dean chuckled, pulling out his phone to call Rowena. "Hey, Rowena, we need your help." Dean paused, listening before he handed the phone to Cas. "She wants to talk to you."

"Castiel, my favourite angel!" Rowena's voice was comforting in Cas' ear. "Now tell me, what did the Winchesters screw up this time?"

"Actually, it's more of a revenge situation."

"Oh, I'm intrigued. Who are we killing this time?"

Cas paused for a second before deciding that straightforwardness was probably best. "It's Kane. He double-crossed us. He was working for Chuck."

"Castiel?"

"Yes?"

"Put me on speaker." Cas obliged, and the three hunters - well, two hunters and Cas - leaned in to listen, even though Rowena was loud enough that they could hear her through the bunker walls.

"You absolute fools! I told you that boy couldn't be trusted, and what do you do? You take him in as your own! Honestly, it's a miracle you haven't died for the last time yet." Rowena sighed in exasperation. "Anyway, what do you need me to do?"


	14. Happy Ending (Mostly)

"Alright boys, he's in an abandoned building off Route 66 in Tucson, Arizona." Rowena finished her spell and began cleaning up her ingredients.

"Thanks, Rowena," Dean said as he and Cas prepared to leave the bunker.

"No problem." She paused for a minute. "Boys?"

The two turned back to look at her. "What is it?" Cas asked.

"Make sure he suffers."

"Of course," they said in unison.

***

"Now Cas, when we go in there, I want you to let me handle it." The two men had been driving for about ten hours already, and all they could talk about was what they were about to do.

"Dean, that's insane. We don't know what Kane's capable of, I'm not letting you fight him alone."

"Well, I'm not losing you again, man. Not after I just got you back."

Cas paused. He set his hand on Dean's leg and decided not to let Dean be suicidal in this fight. "It's my life, Dean. And it's my fault. So if you think I'm going to let you clean up my mess again, you're wrong. We're either doing this together or I'm doing it alone."

Dean was silent for a moment. "I guess... we're doing it together, then."

***

Dean stopped the Impala across the street from the address Rowena gave them. The two got out and readied their guns and angel blades. "Now or never, I guess." Dean gave Cas a kiss, for luck of course. "I love you."

"I love you too." They headed into the building, hoping this fight would be over soon.

They were careful, checking the ground for any tripwires or signs that Kane knew they would be here. They found none, but of course, that meant they had to be stealthier.

They finally found Kane in a room upstairs after what seemed like hours walking up the world's creakiest staircase. He was stooped over some kind of bowl, so he didn't even realize it when Dean shoved an angel blade through his throat.

"That's for my brother, you dick." Dean stepped back, thinking it was over until Kane started laughing.

"Wow, you really thought I could be killed that easily? And they say you and your brother were some of the best hunters. Ha!"

"You say that like we weren't prepared for this." Cas pulled the Colt out of his trench coat - not the original, of course, but one Dean had made from studying the first for countless hours - and shot Kane in the forehead.

In the blink of an eye, it was all over. The hunter and his angel drove back home. 

***

Dean turned the radio up, determined to celebrate with his favourite person in the world. He changed it to one of his presets, and an old familiar song came on.

"Hush now, don't you cry

Wipe away the teardrop from your eye

You're lying safe in bed

It was all a bad dream

Spinning in your head

Your mind tricked you to feel the pain

Of someone close to you leaving the game of life

So here it is, another chance

Wide awake you face the day

Your dream is over or has it just begun? There's a place I like to hide

A doorway that I run through in the night

Relax child, you were there

But only didn't realize and you were scared

It's a place where you will learn

To face your fears, retrace the years

And ride the whims of your mind

Commanding in another world

Suddenly you hear and see

This magic new dimension, I will be watching over you

I am gonna help you see it through

I will protect you in the night

I am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity. If you open your mind for me

You won't rely on open eyes to see

The walls you built within

Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin

Living twice at once you learn

You're safe from pain in the dream domain

A soul set free to fly

A round trip journey in your head

Master of illusion, can you realize

Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but I will be watching over you

I am gonna help to see it through

I will protect you in the night

I am smiling next to you..."

***

"How'd it go?" Jack asked, taking their duffel bags and setting them on the map table like he always did after a hunt.

"He's dead," Dean stated. He felt very tired, so he excused himself and went to sleep. A few minutes later, he heard the door open and Cas slide in next to him.

"You know we'll bring him back, right?"

"I know, Cas. But right now, I need sleep. Goodnight." He kissed Cas' forehead and allowed his angel to rest his head on Dean's chest.

Of course, the boys do bring Sam back, but that's a story for another time. Right now, let's let Dean rest. After all, he deserves it.

TO BE CONTINUED


	15. !!NOT A CHAPTER!!

So I've had this thing on Wattpad for a while and posted it there originally (this is actually my first foray into AO3, it's not as confusing as it was before which is good). So anyway uh give me feedback! I may revisit this later - I know it is not my best work by a long shot, but it's one of the first stories I've ever finished so I'm proud of that. 

Bye, love y'all!

-Ryan


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